I started feeling ill the other day, I mean it was the kind of illness that you know you’ve got something going on inside. it didn’t necessarily physically hurt or even cause me to have diarrhea or vomit, snort, hack, puke, or burp, but I felt queezy and tired, but the little guys who put a sack over my head and knock me the fuck out would only tease me and say “youuurrr getttinnggg sleeeeepy” and as soon as I was in that state of ohio or kentucky or where ever it is that I go when I’m getttinnnggg sleeeepy, I end up at the border in arizona… and on my skin there’d be these little dancing balarinas that have springs for support that pop out of music boxes and start spinning round and round and you can see her from every angle due to the piece of mirror stuck to the lid. I knew for sure that I had something going on inside of me. But I was took fucking blah.. to go the hospital.. So for a week and a half I slept every where on my bed but on my bed… Finally I gathered my blah ass and headed to the hospital…..
I as I’m driving by to enter the parking lot, it looked more like a pregame tale gate party then a non descript one story brick hospital, with a little sign out front professing to be something of a savior to those who have a fucking runny nose. Me being a procrastinator of epic proportions didn’t even bat a fuck ball, or hit a fucking note, i just crank my wheel 90 degrees and was soon heading back to my bed of beds that I had now found so fucking comfortable for the last two weeks….
But i was determined, i had finally kicked the shit out that the procrastinator, “fuck you asshole”, and was destined that’s right I said destined to go to the hospital. Yes sir, i knew that the time had come for all good men to come to the aid of their country… The quick brown fox jumped over the lazy dogs back and forth and back and forth and then he fucking got all cocky and tried to do a 180 degree turn and tripped right on the lazy fucking dogs tail and landed straight on his ass and that lazy dog wasn’t so lazy anymore… If you could have seen this dog laughing, i swear he was choking on a milk bone, but what he was doing was hawking up a lung… his furry body was giggling so violently you wouldn’t dare to even consider this dog as the one who is so aptly named the lazy dog…
nevertheless as the fox was trying to play it off like he meant to fall flat on his ass, I decided to drive fifteen miles to a hospital which i will not name because it’s my secret that I will never devulge but they will take your name, have you sit down and as soon as you decide which seat your going to sit in, cause you know you don’t want to sit next to that chinese lady holding the hankerchef spitting some yellow shit into it, and you don’t want to sit next to the greek middle aged dude who’s a barrel of a man standing 6’2′ tall with the graying hair who’s wife is hanging on his elbow with this look of “oh my god, dimitri… say you’ll be alright?” look on your face while he’s moaning with little beads of sweat forming all over his fore head.. and when you finally find that seat.. on an island where you only have to look at one person in your line of sight sitting directly across from you, they call your name.. Damn..no wait a minute I mean damn in a good way.. shit they called my name in less than 5, 6 , lets see I got here at… who gives a walnut? that’s my name and I’m getting to see the nurse.. Phase two… “ok, please put this under your tooooouungue, and roll up your sleeve like that’s right… Ok, I’ll take that, ok no temparature… alrighty your blood pressure seems to be… What? i don’t know he came in.. excuse me sir, sir SIR! excuse me but I’m with a patient, yes I know but… Sir please if you just have a seat right there I’ll check on it in just one moment for you.. Yes, thank you… “, “ok, where were we?” , “ok, so you were saying?”… “huh?, I was, no wait a minute, i didn’t say shit.. i understand that this man jumped up and down on your attention span, but peep this.. i didn’t say shit, and what if I had though?”, “excuse me?”, “nah.. but check this out, what if I had told you this whole story about how I was having this issue that was really intense and how this and that was going on and if I were placed under a flourescent bulb I’d blow the fuck up?”, “excuse me???”, “no wait, now you got lost on me, and what if you would have pretended to have heard me but didn’t and you made up some shit in your head about how I needed to have my left nut removed because it was causing my neck to swell”.. “you could have caused a afrodisaster and it would have been lights out even though i paid my light bill”…. ” so what I’m feeling here is that your undivided attention is not divided but none existant and you have failed to comprehend the severity of the mulis ditectum and should the basteration of the mondiferus become oblongated by my canlifer, I’m a dead assed mother fucker, and you’d be saying some shit like , excuse me, sir I’ll be with you in just a moment”… “damn bitch, i like to go to atlantic city and gamble, that’s what I do for my piece of mind and some joyment in my posture… and you just fuckin dealt me a hand that only this dude who can’t speak a lick of english except for shit like where go bathroom divert the concentration of a professional health care worker, that being you, who in a monodivided second could have did a 360 and then a 180 and went the other way and I would have been left with this pump shit stuck on my arm screaming in pain while, oh never mind bitch”, “whatchu want to know?”, “sheet, now you made my ventrical a keevo pump out of control, I need my pills”, “sir, please, I apologize, it’s been a long night and this man has been…”, “see? there you go again.. It’s me huh? It’s not anything to do with that man or that mans shirt being half tucked into his pants, it’s about me, a black man.. A man who has been not only overlooked but looked at with one eye closed seeing nothing but my naps cause it’s 3 oclock in the morning and I don’t have white people hair, and I’m sick so i got in my duece and a quarter and rolled down hair witout picking my hair and it’s flat on one side so you naturally assumed that i use a cake cutter instead of a pick… ” nah fuck that, i know racisim when it’s knockin in my engine… Shit, beatch I been a negro goin on most of my life and let me tell you somethin… “this shit hurts right there when I cough”, “ouch! yes right there” “ok, now do you take any medications, drink alchol, any street drugs, cocain, methanphetamines, marijauna?” “now hold on… Why you ask me if I take any medications, and the rest was all these gateway drugs and shit? You asked me any street drugs, that was liletum to the point, i know what those things are, you didn’t have to break them down to me… Just cause I’m a black man, that don’t mean that street drugs and cocaine are two different almalgums of protese inhibitor… I’m feeling kind of racsticised and wish to speak to your superior, if you wouldn’t mind, thank you”, “sir, it was just some routine questions that we….”, “ha! you said it, routine!” ” yes, sir routine”, “routine!, if your a black man of the persuasion… I didn’t hear you one time ask that little filipino man if he had any filipino jungle drugs or any medication… don’t try and change the subject”.. “ok, sir, we’re done here, now if you go wait in the waiting room we will call you name in a minute”. “oh, that’s wrong… that’s so wrong”, “excuse me?”, “that’s wrong, now how you gonna explain that one?”, “i’m sorry sir, i don’t understand what you implying”, “oh, so i’m implying, now am I? Look i’m tellin the truth, you told me to go sit over there, and you were gonna call me names.. I heard you , you said that shit straight to my face and i rightly do not apprecaite being condimended by the anti social labelism that has prescothced the fabric of this society”, “in fact I have had a bite enough and I will not allow you or anyone like you frement my personal being for economic exploition that we call fair trade agreements for all who huddle in masses for massa, i quit!”, “sir you quit?, what do you quit? you can’t quit”, “Oh so you trying to instinmate that i do not have the will power to properly control the emenphis of my own psychological fortitude?”, “sir, i don’t understand what you are trying to insinuate”, “instigation! that what I’m talking about instigation and i’m behest of the establishment making mockery of all that huddle” “I’m boucin out of here like baby bitchs butt during happy hour at the royal castle inn over there on felix road”… “oh, wait a cotton q-tip minute rice…” baby bitches butt, that’s you, ain’t it? baby fuckin bitches is a nurse, HEY EVERYBODY IT”S BABY BITCHES FROM THE ROAL CASTLE INN.. can you do that thing where you squat down and pick up a dollar between your cheeck and grab a shot glass with your butt cheeck and flip it up between those lucisous mounds of flesh so it disappears?”, “sir, i don’t know who baby Bitches is, but she ain’t got shit on me.. Let me knock your shit out the box sir… you got a dollar? oh, you don’t well thats alright cause i don’t want no paper burns anyway, just break aout some change and EVERYONE Gather around… who wants to see me, miss nurse crotch it make a quater out of fifeteen cents?”
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